NJ Couples, Marriage & Family Therapy, Morris County and Warren County, NJ

Alexandra Pintauro Urgola, MA, LPC, NCC Licensed Professional Counselor Psychotherapist , EMDR Level 2 Couples, Marriage & Family Therapist Specialist in Adoption Issues Certified Substance Awareness Counselor Certified in Posttraumatic Stress Management View Credentials

Alexandra specializes in family therapy and couples, which means that she emphasizes family relationships as an important factor in psychological health. She views problems as symptoms of dysfunctional interactions, communications and emotional dynamics within the whole family, rather than the fault of any individual.

Alexandra works with couples from a family systems perspective. She helps you to reflect upon and understand why your dysfunctional interactions are repeating what you both grew up in. Once you understand this you can free yourselves from the painful family patterns, and re-create your relationship into your shared, unique vision . She teaches you productive communication, effective problem solving skills, how to de-fuse conflict, and how to find the happiness that a shared life can bring.

One of the main reasons a family seeks counseling is that someone's behavior is upsetting everyone else. They want the therapist to smooth things out and keep things going the way they were.

But the family therapist knows that the person with the troublesome behavior is the “Identified Patient”, meaning that's

who the family sees as psychologically ill. In reality, the identified patient is the family member who is behaviorally speaking for everyone. No one feels good about the way things have been going and something has to change.

As a family therapist, she may focus more on how patterns of interaction maintain the problem rather than trying to identify the cause, as this can be experienced as blaming by some families.

Family systems theory assumes that the family as a whole is larger than the sum of its parts. Instead of meeting with one individual, all or most family members are involved in the therapy process.

Family therapy is particularly helpful during transitional crises in a families’ life cycle, for example: ·

• Engagement & Wedding
• Learning to get along with in-laws
• During pregnancy & after childbirth
• When children start middle school & high school
• Leaving for college
• Divorce & remarriage
• Health Crisis
• Relocation
• Financial Problems
• Death & Bereavement

What Happens In Family Therapy?

Alexandra often brings entire families together in therapy sessions. However, family members may also see her individually, in pairs, or with extended family members according to her ongoing assessment.

Working together with her, you will examine your family's ability to solve problems and express thoughts and emotions. You may explore family roles, rules and behavior patterns in order to spot issues that contribute to conflict.

Family therapy may help you identify your family's strengths, such as caring for one another, and weaknesses, such as an inability to confide in one other. Family therapy can help you pinpoint your specific concerns and assess how your family is handling them. Guided by your therapist, you'll learn new ways to interact and overcome old problems. In the end, you will be better equipped to cope with problems and emotional pain, understand each other’s needs, desire to help each other, and all get along better.